So much has happened over the last 15 years. Here is a look back at…Our History.
1996 gas was $1.02 a gallon. Bill Clinton defeated Ross Perot and Bob Dole. Windows 4.0 was released. DVD’s were launched in Japan. Spice Girls were #1. The quotes “You had me at hello.” And “You. Complete. Me” were coined from the popular movie Jerry Maquire.
For me the most important thing that happened in 1996 was on April 19. I met my best friend. He was skipping his 4th hour and was at 2nd lunch and asked me for my number. What an insignificant moment in a teenager’s life…but not for me. This small moment in time, slight fork in the road, or gentle rivers bend, changed the course of two lives; and eventually 5.
1997 gas was $1.22 a gallon. $4.59 per movie ticket. Princess Diana was killed in France. 1.5 billion people around the world watched her funeral. Mike Tyson bit Holyfield’s ear and was suspended from boxing. Titanic was one of the highest grossed films. Hanson was the trending group.
1997 also marked the first year of our difficult journey together. Myself being plagued with thoughts that all of this was too sudden and could never last and Chris pushing for forever; it was a tumultuous time that neither of us were certain we’d ever make it through. I lied and cheated to get what I wanted, these things I regret to this day.
1998 one dozen eggs cost $0.88. Google was founded. Windows 98 was introduced. The song “I don’t wanna miss a thing” from the movie Armagedon put Aerosmith back on the Billboard top 100; a first in 28 years for them. Bill Clinton/Monica Lewinsky fiasco makes the statements “I did not have sexual relations with that woman.” And “It depends on what the definition of IS , is.” A regular part of SNL skits. After the DNA evidence on the infamous blue dress was revealed he ultimately admitting to an “improper physical relationship” with Mrs. Lewinsky.
This very year marked two years of ups and downs; break ups and make ups and a bond that was stronger than either of us knew at the time. 1998 was also the year of my high school graduation. A time that could have easily ended us permanently since Chris would still be in high school the following year while I would attend college. Luckily for the future of our family college didn’t last long for me and high school was far from the end of Us.
1999 Coffee was 3.41 a lb. Ford bought Volvo. The movie Star Wars Episode I : The Phantom Menace added a whole new group of followers to the sci-fi diehards. “Baby one more time” launched Britney Spears into the music industry. The Columbine shooting devastated parents all over the nation. Myspace, Bluetooth, and Napster were introduced.
Most importantly 1999, signifies the birth of our first born, Gabriella Daniel and the shift from Sara and Chris to Mommy and Daddy. As a mother the first year was very challenging. I owe so much to Chris for taking up all the slack in every place I lacked emotionally, physically, and mentally.
He stayed home 24/7 this year and raised our daughter while I worked. The bond that Gabbie and he still share from this time is so strong and I can’t help but be so proud of him. In 1999 Chris changed completely, for the best. I can never successfully describe how this rocketed my love for him so much deeper. But I am certain it did.
2000 Average rent was $675.00. Vermont legalizes Civil Unions for same sex couples. A vessel spilled about 13,000 barrels of Nigerian sweet crude oil in Venice, La; temporarily shutting down the Mississippi River. Y2K passes without the end of the world, or the end of technology. Creed’s “With arms wide open” topped the charts.
2000 also signifies a long split in our relationship which, by all accounts, should have ended us completely. Despite dual restraining orders, a severe wreck Chris thankfully survived from, and Gabbie’s 24/7 cries for her daddie; the story does not end here.
2001 gas at $1.46 a gallon. Timothy McVeigh the Oklahoma City Bomber was executed. Enron filed Chapter 11 bankruptcy. Anthrax scares all over the US. Wikipedia was launched. iPod was released. The movie Pearl Harbor introduces a heart wrenching love triangle. Butterfly by Crazy Town played continuously on the radio stations.
2001 catapulted Gabbie into the roll of “big sister” without her knowledge or understanding. On December 24, 2001 our beautiful tan Lebanese baby girl Emily Alexis was born. Chris was only home for a few days after her birth. Despite my working full time as well, Chris was forced to stay offshore for months to barely keep us above water before reuniting with her again. 2001 was a particularly dark and lonely time for me. Knowing that Chris would be home at some point and the help from my mom and Melissa are the only things that brought me through the darkness; figuratively and literally. (For a little bit me and the girls had no electricity. Lol)
2002 $1.62 for a gallon of gas. Two snipers terrorized Washington D.C., killing 10 innocent bystanders before being caught. Elizabeth Smart was kidnapped from her bed while her entire family slept. A total of 40 million people in the world were currently then infected with AIDS/HIV. Spider-man became the first film to pass the $100 million mark in the first weekend.
April 25, 2002 I married my best friend at a very small ceremony in the library of the Court house; by Judge Kent Savoie. I remember his comments on how big our smiles were during the ceremony. We had already been together (on and off) for six years and 3 days; had 2 children; a few car notes; a couple of animals, a restraining order…or 2; stayed up countless nights screaming, crying, fighting, and making up but nothing was more perfect than letting the words I felt in my heart come through my lips and make that promise to him.
2003: $1.83 for a gallon of gas. US plans Iraq invasion; weapons of mass destruction. Shock and Awe Campaign. French Fries are temporarily changed to “Freedom Fries”. Saddam Hussien was captured. The Terminator was elected governor of California. The Space Shuttle Columbia disintegrated over Texas killing all 7 astronauts aboard. iTunes was launched. Finding Nemo was the most popular kids movie. Limp Bizkit performed live for the first time in two years at WWE’S Wrestle Mania XIX (19).
2004: $2.10 for a gallon of gas. The CIA admits that there was NO imminent threat from weapons of mass destruction before 2003 invasion of Iraq. Bush wins election against Kerry. Martha Stewart is convicted and sentenced to 5 months. Scott Peterson is found guilty of murdering his pregnant wife, Laci Peterson. Janet Jacksons wardrobe “malfunction” during the Super Bowl was called a staged hoax. Mel Gibson’s The Passion of Christ is both criticized and praised equally. Britney Spears had a 48 hr publicity stunt…I mean marriage.
2003 we moved into a townhome south of town and all too quickly began looking into buying a home. 2003 also embarked a year that was extremely difficult for Gabbie’s health. From 2003 to 2004 the medications that seemed to be changed with the seasons had many horrific side effects. Her seizures were out of control and Chris unfortunately (after 4 yrs of her having them) witnessed the very end of a very awful one. With the insurance that Chris’ offshore job provided and with the support of my husband I began the grueling process of demanding proper medical treatment for our daughter. 2004 we began the process of learning our first fateful lesson of dishonesty in the housing industry; we became home owners.
2005 $3.18 for a gallon of gas. Hurricane Katrina and Hurricane Rita hit. Pope John Paul II died. Michael Jackson is found NOT guilty of Child Molestation. The US Supreme Court ruled Medical Marijuana users CAN be prosecuted for violating federal drug laws. Xbox 360 was released.
February 2, 2005 the final addition to our family, Zachary Michael was born. He made Emily and Gabbie proud big sisters and me and Chris Mommy and Daddy for the last time. Bittersweet. In 2005 we also agreed that it was time that Chris work closer to home. Raising 3 kids alone was no longer something I wanted to do and Chris no longer wanted to be so far away from his family. The strain on our relationship and the rifts subsequent relationships caused were too much.
Chris ended his 6 year long career on the crew boats and took a position with a very substantial pay cut. He worked on the tug boats which was still on the water, but only locally and on a much smaller scale this time. With a schedule of time on and time home we began the slow process of mending our relationship from all the years of being apart 90-95% of the time.
2006 Iran refuses access to the U.N. inspectors. Charles C. Roberts walks into an Amish school and kills 5 Amish girls and wounds 5 more before killing himself. In the hours after the tragedy the wife of the shooter was comforted by members of the Amish community. Many members of the Amish community even attended the man’s funeral to support his family. Six US seaports are SOLD to the Middle East. The Wii is released. Justin Timberlake brought Sexy Back. Pirates of the Caribbean 2 was released and for the 2nd time since The Renaissance, rotten teeth, grimy skin, and filthy hair were a sex symbol; all thanks to Johnny Depp.
2006 Marks a huge financial change in our household. We quickly went from struggling, to abundance. I landed a promising job with an up and coming local Attorney and Chris’s hard work had finally begun to pay off. As the abundance became a regular occurrence our dreams of expanding our living space and getting out from under the financial mistake that hung over our heads began to gnaw.
2007 $3.38 for a gallon of gas. Virginia tech student kills 30 fellow students. iPhone was introduced. The final Harry Potter book was published. Transformers catapulted Megan Fox to sex symbol status. The Writers Guild of America goes on strike for over a year. Pimp C, Ike Turner, Evel Knievel and Boris Yeltsin died. Britney Spears mental instability surfaces publically when she shaves her head in front of tons of paparazzi.
2007 We traded in our old, beat up 3 door gas guzzling van and purchased a Honda Odyssey. Complete with leather, heated seats, DVD system, headphones, automatic sliding doors with the press of a button on the faab and amoung many other features the coveted 4th door. Only a few months later Chris purchased a truck off the same lot, newer than the van, got the towing package, all leather, DVD and Navigation system, satellite radio, and a few other aftermarket modifications.
We finally felt like we were living out our dreams. We could proudly look at each other and our family and have so much to be thankful for. Things were really good. Nope they were going great.
2008 In the summer gas prices skyrocket to $4.11 a gallon. The stamp is $0.42. Bank of America takes over Countrywide. The stimulus package doles out hundreds of dollars per household in hopes to “stimulate the economy”. The US “ok’s” production and marketing of food from cloned animals. $700 billion bailout plan is signed into law. Microsoft attempts to buy Yahoo for $44.6 billion.
2008 was a difficult year for decision making around here. Chris was working away a lot more than we had anticipated and planned on and all the burden of raising the kids fell completely back on my shoulders. With the kids getting older and homework taking hours upon hours a night; our routine was hectic to say the least. On top of everything Zachary was 3 and still barely talking even with speech therapy and Chris’s and my never ending coaxing to at least get a “moma” or “dada” from him.
But with the mounting stresses and the changes to the small confines of the office in which I worked, it all became too much. After a few months of breaking down daily over the stress of my own job and taking on the responsibilities of the “friend” that I had helped get a position for in the same office Chris helped me make a decision that was one of the hardest I had to do. I had to quit the job I loved. I loved the job because I had a passion for the legal field and for the people. I loved my boss as well and the last thing I wanted to do was let him down.
In the end it was the best decision for everyone I think. I became a stay at home mom again. With the help of my boss we were able to afford to have his tubes put in; and the talking commenced. Zak began speaking non-stop. The girls homework was still a struggle but was able to be completed. When Chris was home and the kids were at school, we had some much needed and much deserved time together.
In 2008 we were ready to move on and find a new home. Unfortunately I went about the process all the wrong way. I took a simple “sure go ahead and look but don’t make any decisions” and turned it into “sure do whatever you want to honey!”
Nonetheless…We found our “dream home”. 5 bedrooms 3 bathrooms, huge living dining rooms, remodeled throughout, within our selected price range. And even better we had saved plenty to put the down payment and make any cosmetic changes we felt necessary before moving in. We brought our family and friends over to the house; because it was going to be ours! Everyone knew it! Everyone said it was a done deal. We paid for the inspection and appraisal to be done. We mapped out which room would be whose, what we would put in the spare room. We agreed on just about everything. We had it all planned out, it was in the bag…Or so we thought.
2009 $2.73 for a gallon of gas. $7.50 for a movie ticket. Barak Obama was inaugurated as the 44th president. Michael Jackson died. Swine flu is announced as a global pandemic. Bill Clinton meets with Kim Jong-il and convinces him to pardon and release the two American journalists. Kanye West interrupted Taylor Swifts acceptance speech at the VMA’s to say Beyonce deserved the award. Great DB moment, which he later used to his advantage and turned into a hit song. (eyes rolling)
2009 marked a few memorable changes for us as well. During the loooong and exhausting process of trying to buy our dream home, my friends and I planned a mini-vacation to Pennsacola, Fla. For us 3 moms who had yet to be away from our kids for more than 48 hrs since birth this was a huge accomplishment. Chris’s job had slowed down quite a bit and he was home for a while. We should have seen this as a warning, but instead we both chose to ignore it. Then the real signs started.
Chris forgot to turn in his pay on time, affecting the final loan processing. Something we later were tremendously thankful for, but not just yet. Immediately everything that could go wrong started to. It went from signing Friday to, signing later next week, to well we will get back to you about signing; to the infamous only getting to leave a message for them. Several weeks before the trip to Florida we received the bad news. The loan company was putting off the final approval for the loan for at least a few months since the economy was beginning to tank and the financial paperwork mishaps.
Devastation, anger, and aggravation, imploded in our home. There were many hours of arguing, crying and on my part inability to let go of “our one chance” at owning our dream home. So when I said I was backing out of the weekend to FLA with the girls, Chris quickly disagreed. The last thing either of us needed was more fighting.
I left that Friday morning for the long drive to FLA with renewed excitement. So maybe we lost our dream home. Didn’t that just mean that that wasn’t supposed to be our home? Didn’t that mean that fate had other, better plans for us? Of course! Isn’t that what you’re supposed to believe?
8:30 am March 15, 2009 just getting to the Crowley Exit…Chris calls. At that moment the entire world could have vaporized in front of my eyes and I would have never known. The only thing I comprehended was the words he spoke. “Well I just got off the phone with James…….I got laid off.”
The next thing he did still amazes me to this day. I wanted to come home right then and my friend was more than willing to turn around, ruining her trip in the process, and bring me home. But instead he still wanted me to have that time away, assuring me that he would take care of everything and we would get started on finding him a new job Monday morning.
What a sacrifice. Instead of having me home for the support he went into full on daddy mode and took the kids places. His sacrifices were endless that weekend. He had to return a bike he had been waiting to purchase and finally just had. L
Remember the “abundance” I spoke of earlier, yeah it came in handy the next 7-9 months he was looking for a job in the economy that had plunged well below sea level. All the savings for the dream house, kept us afloat and allowed us to keep our home and vehicles. Maybe that was what fate had in store?
During the summer of 2009, my depression hit an all time low. I did some things I can hardly type and still can’t speak of. Chris was still out of work, only working some odd jobs here and there and I was working when I could for the Attorney I worked for before. The house note was months behind. The car notes could not be paid. The electricity bill was outrageous. The credit card bills were just spinning in interest. It took every penny we had to feed the family, get enough gas to get to work and pay the phone bill. After a huge fight with Chris over continuous looming trust issues I left for my moms. The kids left with someone else headed to my moms as well.
I was hysterical. I was tired. I was alone. I drove to my moms and then….I just drove away. I was weak, broken, and selfish and wished for a way out. I wanted it all to be over. Everything just done. No more bills. No more collection. No more homework. No more fighting. Just….nothing. I drove for hours and prayed for the courage to do it; to just end it. I knew I held the power to end it all and there was nothing more I could think of doing.
Despite my fear of heights I drove to the 1-10 bridge. It was night but not very late I didn’t think of it then, but I do now. There was no reason why the bridge should have been so desolate but it was. After facing my fears of driving at night and fears of height I drove up the bridge anyways certain I could do it. I never got any further than putting it in park and looking out the window.
All I could think of were my kids and Chris and how much of a disappointment I was. I honestly thought moments before then that they were would all be better off without me. That they would look back after the grief and say “Ok. I understand and I am glad she chose to do that.”
By the time the police pulled up behind me under the overpass the strength and will to “do” it had passed. I was completely drained of fight. When I finally made it back home I slept for hours, but I’m certain I could have slept for days.
I will never forget what the officer told me though. I still use it to this day. And laugh if you must, I know she probably had a “suicide hand-out” or something she probably got it from but it was exactly what I needed to hear. She recited a prayer. Anyone who knows me knows me and prayer don’t always see eyes to eye. This moment this was what I needed to hear.
“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.”
The next weeks/months were still struggles but I wanted my children and our family and I wanted to be with them. I no longer felt that it was completely hopeless. I wanted my husband. I needed my husband.
2010 $1,237.00 to $1457.00 for an ounce of gold. $2.49 for a loaf of bread. Leslie Nielson, Tony Curtis, Dennis Hopper, and J.S. Salinger died. BP Oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, is the largest in history and kills 11 workers. Volcanic ash from beneath an ice cap in Iceland erupted from Eyjafjallajokull (Say that 3 times fast….no just say it once) and halted air traffic across parts of Europe for almost a month. WikiLeaks released confidential statements making the United States look like Douch bags….oh wait. In December the first total lunar eclipse happened on the day of the Northern winter solstice and Southern summer solstice since 1638.
2010 brought around some change again to our lives. Chris went back to work for the company that he was laid off from in 2009.He left a job that had him coming home every night and was just enough to pay all our bills and keep us above water. He went back to the job he does so well and he enjoys and pays the bills. The only way it could be any better is if he were close to home.
2011 9.1 magnitude earthquake shakes Japan followed by a Tsunami killing 14,000 and leaving over 12,000 still missing. $3.74 for a gallon of gas. $0.44 for a stamp. $2.78 for a loaf of bread. New 3D movie tickets run about $9.00 to $11.25 per ticket. The national average rental price is $900.00 to $1,025.00.
This year Mrs. Katherine Elliott and Uncle Craig Hinch passed away; marking one of the most emotional years of my life. So far Chris has been my rock throughout both trying times. He became a full time parent immediately when I needed to be away from the house. He continues to amaze me.
2011 also marks 15 years (half our lives) we have spent together; off and on in the early years of course. But after 15 years of being with a person who truly loves you, flaws and all, it makes you look at yourself in a different light. You have the choice to look at your flaws or look at your accomplishments.
Over the years and certainly not by either of our choices I have raised all three children primarily on my own. When needed and if needed again I am capable and willing to pull the full financial burden.
We have been through so many trying times. We have fought, for no reason, for every reason and for reasons we can’t even remember. We have broken up crying, screaming, laughing, angry and happy. We’ve separated and looked and found others temporarily but always come back to each other.
Looking back at all these situations; my life would not be what it is without him in it for the last 15 years. I will be honest here if we didn’t love each other, there would be no other reason to stick through all of the things we have been through together. None.
All of you old prudes and bitter lonely people can say what you will BUT: No other person can ever say what Chris says to me, good or bad. No one else can get away with what he does. And it’s the same with me. We know each other’s flaws, buttons, and wounds. We’ve nursed each other back to health whether it was illness, or just wounded pride. I know he can make me laugh when all I want to do is scream and I know that I can make him scream when all he wants to do is laugh. J
The best part about the last 15 years is waking up and rolling over to him or looking at his picture on my phone and knowing I married my best friend. No one can or will take his place in my heart. We don’t know what the future holds for us. I still pray, hope, wish, dream, expect us to have 5 times the amount of years we have had so far; but whenever, where ever, and how ever the end meets either of us I know Chris IS my past. He is my gift of the present and he will always be my future.
I love you honey. Happy 15th (dating) Anniversary…and Happy 9th wedding anniversary.
