WHAT IS VETERANS DAY FOR?

WHAT IS VETERANS DAY FOR?

 I received this question the other day from my daughter. Not for the first time, probably not even for the 30^th time in the last couple of years.

"WHAT IS VETERANS DAY FOR?" she asked.

 Oh boy…standing in the kitchen, with one kid doing homework at the table, one on the computer playing a game a little too loud for the other at the table to concentrate, and I am trying to figure out what I am cooking with all these baked chicken breasts, that won’t leave one of the kids sitting at the table with their nose turned up in protest….

So, instant agitation sets in as I remembered all the times we sat and I explained that veterans day was to honor and thank the individuals who had fought and died for our freedom etc. Clear enough right? She knows what “Veterans” are, I mean we go to a Veteran's Day Celebration, where there are countless veterans of all ages there, remembering their deployment(s) and their fallen brothers. So surely my explanation was enough?

Right??

Before I retold her the same thing again or said “Oh come on you know what that’s about, don’t act silly” and played her question down, a lot. I thought about it. Instead of getting a little upset that I was going to have to explain it all again, I asked her if I could explain it to her later on. And later on I feel will be tomorrow.

Well going over it in my mind several times I still thought that my answer was pretty self explanatory and very fool proof, until I sat down to write. Writing helps me clear my mind, and then again it jumbles it back up sometimes but either way I usually end up with some part of me that is legible and easier to understand than I am usually.

Perhaps my explanation was the problem, not that my child just kept forgetting, it was that I hadn’t given her the information needed for her to understand the importance of it.

Then I felt ashamed.

To anyone that knows me, you know I hold service men and women very highly, as they should be. But for me not to be able to get the importance of remembering and thanking these individuals across to her and my other two children, kind of threw me for a loop.

I had to do a little thinking, searching. So that when the time comes that she is asked “What is Veterans Day for?”, she will know exactly the right words to use. And maybe one day even thank me for that. (Hey, I can dream.)

To some, Veterans Day is just another day unlike any other. They have no immediate ties to an active service man, woman, or veteran. Or they may know someone who fought in a war, but that’s all it is them. To those, the day goes by like any other day. To those people the definition of a “Veteran” would suffice: former member of the armed forces ; a long-serving member of the military who has had much active experience; somebody who is considerably experienced in something.

To those there are family members of active, inactive, retired and deceased veterans that would love to educate them on what these words truly mean.

I dont’t/can’t/won’t attempt to claim to know what it is like to make the decision to become a soldier and then step on that plane being deployed to a place affectionately called Hell.
 

I am not a mother/father/sister/brother/aunt/daughter/cousin/wife/husband of a service man/woman that has lived through a heart wrenching deployment. But I still love, cherish, and honor every service individual for their immense sacrifices for us. I try my best to educate my children on the truth of what soldiers have to endure. The choices that they are faced with everyday and the life they live as a result of being a soldier.

To me a Veteran is someone who laid down (at least in part) their life for me and every other citizen of this free world. Even the ones who spit on it and take it for granted.

A Veterans blood, tears ,and sweat are the reasons we have the land we do now. A Veterans job didn’t end as they stepped off the plane onto familiar, but somehow now foreign soil. Many Veterans, the ones that were left with the physical and mental capability to continue to work when they returned, have to take jobs at minimum wage no matter what their military experience. Struggling to barely make ends meet, after all their sacrifice. Some Veterans came home with damaged bodies and little to no healthcare willing to assist them, leaving them homeless, jobless, and tired on the streets with no means of changing their situation.

A Veterans job as a soldier is never completed. He/She still has a great deal of pride in this country and will not take it being threatened. Veterans still stand up for this country after all the heartache their decision to fight for is has caused them. If possible I believe those men and women would fight again in a heartbeat despite their limited abilities. Because they are Hero’s.

Hero’s are made from young boys that signed up for this life before they could be considered men. Hero’s are made from women who sign up for this life with children at home. Hero’s are made from the man that signs up for his 4^th deployment knowing his wife wouldn’t stay through another one, but his platoon would need him. Hero’s are made of ordinary men and women choosing to do extraordinary things, for no damn good reason.

To me a Veteran is neither male nor female, a Veteran is neither rank nor stature, a Veteran is one extension of the band of brothers/sisters that form their group as a whole. Deeper than any sports team, deeper than any family bonds could forge, these bonds are unstoppable and completely unselfishly honorable. The bond that binds the group of brothers/sisters who were in combat together could never be broken. It goes beyond the battlefield, beyond heaven, beyond the welcome home celebrations, beyond the birthday parties, beyond bullet wounds, beyond divorce. If the bond could be formed into a metal it would wipe out the need for Humvee’s completely.

To the men and women  that sleep out in the heat or cold tonight away from your loved ones, thinking about them, and the holidays coming up; I am laying here thinking of you tonight. And praying that God be with you and your brothers and sisters there. I pray he hears and answers your prayers.

To those soldiers, service men/women of any kind, veterans, I apologize for not being able to give you the honor that each and every one of you deserve. I apologize that as I sit at home on my computer, a stay at home mom in air conditioning most of the day,  you fight for my right to be this and do this from across the world.  But I thank you with every being of my soul to be allowed the time I have with my children to teach them how to be a better person in a world full of hateful unappreciative people.

I appreciate Veterans. I understand the importance of Veterans Day and I will continue to celebrate Veterans in my house.

This will be my explanation next time one of my children ask me, "What Veterans Day is for?".

I will be ready to answer the questions they have for me tomorrow.

 I pray that I have done you all a little justice.

MEN IN SUITS

Maybe its just my generation of ex-grunge wearing, ex-raver, tattoo loving, blogging, iphone/blackberry using, open minded thinking that makes my opinions seem so far left...right...up...or down. But isn’t it time we get "suits" out of office? I mean since when do these "middle aged” card board cut outs represent us? How can they represent us? What could they possibly know about any of us?

Yeah of course they know who “WE” are because they have writers that throw out great adjectives describing our struggles. Making sure to italicize and or highlight those words that are meant to stick out in our minds. Examples: Hope, Change, New Jobs, Health Care, Weapons of Mass Destruction, 9/11, Al Queda, Terrorists…etc…etc. All to pull at our heart strings and strongest emotions.

But would this or that man ever drive down my street? Hahaha, NO! Would he drive down yours?

Oh sure maybe on his political bandwagon he would pass through our neighborhoods and note the obvious condition of the dilapidated homes, but what he doesn’t see is what’s through our front doors. He doesn’t see past the voting statistics and just how high the chances are of him winning our vote. He doesn’t see the most important things in our lives, our families and our jobs. We have children growing and learning here looking to us for guidance, in a world where the infamous MIS (Men In Suits) are limiting our growth to pad their own pockets. They promise constituents of their utmost respect and attention and leave them choking on the dust spewing from their chauffeured SUV, all the way to their hand crafted cushy new office chair.

Here is the real shocker…Go ahead and sit down…..Ok whatever, I warned you and won’t be blamed of you fall and hurt yourself.

THEY LIE.

That’s right you heard it here, I said it and I will say it again.

THEY LIE TO US.

Yep I said it. Twice.

We all remember the cardboard pop out/punch out dolls with the interchangeable outfits, right? The only difference is this game comes with 1 suit and 100s of interchangeable faces. And sadly the very best part about this game would still be punching out all the (cardboard) faces.

Yet every election rolls around and guess what they have in common with the last 100+ years? They have the same people running for office! Every single election we are faced with an array of “new and improved” card board cut outs of the last elections versions, attempting to tackle the same damn issues that the last ones had claimed they would eradicate while in office. The only politicians who can possibly stand out as different are the ones who have

A. been caught with their pants down

B. favor cigars

c. conceives illegitimate children while running for president and his wife is struggling with breast cancer

D. imprisoned for racketeering

E. “talking” with Madams……….and the list can go on and on.

Its time for something different people! This isn’t working! I can completely understand why so many people around my age are dead set on not voting. If I vote for A. who lies about X and in reality will only harm U then your screwed. BUT if I vote for B. who lies about Y and will only harm me then I get screwed. Until everyone understands and agrees that having interchangeable puppets as OUR voice(s) is not working, then history will continue to repeat itself. What is the point of voting really? Exercising the right not to vote is one of the few rights we have left that we can actually get away with and not be imprisoned..yet.  

This being said I have been a fairly faithful voter, taking my ridicule for my choices in stride and sometimes with pride. I am at a cross roads with the entire idea of Democracy. (Democracy: A Government in which the supreme power is vest in the people) Ideally Democracy would be great to have, but lets face it guys…we are far from a democratic country!

We as a people are not being heard! All we are being told is that if we want to be heard we must vote. Ok, I get that. But if the choices are not what we want/need how is making rash decisions to vote for the “lesser of two evils” any better?????

Family

When you think of Family a mom, dad, children, stepchildren, adopted children, grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins probably come to mind automatically. I think sometimes we forget what Family really means. To me Family isn't made from a common blood line it's bound by love. Not mandatory love because of shared DNA but the choice to love someone who has no ties to you other than making you smile and laugh. Of course some of our own relatives fall into this category too by choice not by obligation.


In my experience relatives often take advantage and take for granted “family” members because of the misconception of unconditional love. Unconditional love isn't supposed to give someone a "get-away with anything" card but remind us that we should forgive. And Forgiving doesn't mean that we allow others to reign freely crushing our feelings and spirits in the process. Look at the word For-give-ness and the meaning; to give up resentment. Forgiveness is meant to be a gift, it’s not an obligation.

My Family is made up of a collection of a few blood relatives, in laws, the family of my "adopted" parent and many amazing friends of choice. The place cards missing in the makeup of my family include my dad, uncles and aunts, grandparents etc., all by my choosing. The people I consider my family are people who offer something positive to my life. Perhaps it's against what we have all been taught to turn the other cheek but I only have one life to live. I refuse to give forgiveness out so freely to the people who feel obligated to love/deal with me or use me under the cloak of unconditional love to be a part of my family.

My thoughts aren’t traditional and compared to your values I may seem completely wrong but for my life they fit just right. If I am wrong come judgment day I pray I receive the gift of Forgiveness.

Regretful Thinking....

Regretful Thinking….


People drift in and out of our lives, some leaving only a vague memory of a distant time; while others leave an everlasting impression that we feel no matter how far away we are from them.

You, like me (and everyone else) have been on the losing end of friendships and even some family relationships gone awry. Sometimes by our own making or choosing and other times for reasons the other party keeps to themselves. Either way I am always left with my head hung low, feeling an inch shorter and pounds heavier over losing someone so dear to me. (Thus my excuse for being very short and fat now! Ha! )

Of course there are those who decide to leave with their last words, a sort of fair well passage for them, colorfully spoken like a sailor with sporadic name calling and their fist pumping with the middle finger waving proud. These always remind me of a saying that an old uncle I had would say at a time like that; “No love lost.”

Still, I can think of at least a handful of people whom I could have never seen my life without and yet here I sit, having not spoken with them or even seen them in months or even years. I have at one time or another, for each, sat back and wondered if there was anything I could have done differently to prevent their departure. Regretfully have always found several occasions I could have made better decisions.

I could have held my tongue when I knew that my words were most often only for me to be right. I could have stopped myself from blurting out hateful things in spite of their already wounded feelings. I could have offered more of myself when they deeply needed a friend. I should have listened to their problems for the 1,000th time instead of cutting them off short for my own selfish/or sometimes unselfish reasons. I should have offered my hand when they fell and kept it out until they reached for it. I could have answered the phone when they called instead of hitting ignore. There are many more instances of I could have, I should have, but I didn’t.

In my new (very new, less than a week old!) found internal/external journey I pondered on this for a while and realized, no amount of acknowledgement now would do any good for the relationships that have since ended. I could sit here and regret past decisions and harass myself over what I realized in hindsight, which is what I have always done. But what I should do is look at the relationships I have today and decide not to repeat my own mistakes. I will choose to look back on those times and smile at the great memories, frown at the mistakes made, and cherish the experiences.

So here I pledge from now on: No more Regretful Thinking.

In ten years...

In ten years, I will be 40. The same age my parents were when they got divorced. I will have a 21 yr old, 18 yr old, and a 15 yr old. And if everything you learn about in this blog goes right I will have 520 happy days to look back on...

Do you know how fast 10 years goes by? Do you remember how time stopped when you got the letter, email, or phone call about your 10 year High School Reunion? It’s a real slap in the face to realize 10 years have passed without your knowledge or consent. Without warning one more day, week, month passes right before our eyes and each time we act surprised.

As we grow we ache to be older, running passed each milestone sure that the next one will be everything (and more) that we dreamed of. Disappointment comes frequent as children but with less of a long term impact. Now, as an adult, we anticipate and even give up at the sight of another disappointing blow of reality. Sometimes I feel like I’m standing in the middle of lunch hour traffic just waiting for all the lights to turn green and each car clip me till there is nothing left. Of course there are times I feel like I could be pushed off the highest cliff and by some miracle I would sprout wings and float down bellow unscathed. Usually I feel more like the lunch hour traffic scenario than I do a bird though.

Today I woke up like any other Sunday, mentally going through all the to-do lists and worries I have bouncing around my head. You know the lists I mean, the ones that never seem to be around when you need them and then play peek-a-boo just as you’re trying to go to sleep. And the useless worries that begin with “What if”. Yeah, I spend most my mornings silently cursing those little devils, but today I just decided to lie here and ignore it all. And believe it or not, nothing happened.

Meteors didn’t hurl towards my house, lava didn’t bubble up from under my bed and threaten to wipe me off the face of the earth for not giving in to the urge to worry. I just simply lay there breathing and briefly relaxing. (Can I get a collective…ahhhh….)

After I was out of bed into the regular routine of getting my children breakfast and making my coffee it dawned on me just how easy it was keeping those worries at bay. Relishing in my new found freedom I wondered just what other magical powers I had acquired over night. And just like that drinking my lukewarm, too sweet coffee milk and texting a friend; I made a resolution.

Wait! Stop right there! I know what you are thinking; “Its August, not January, heck it’s not even December. This woman’s crazy, EVERYONE knows resolutions are for New Years!” Well the former part of that sentence could be true I tend to be a little crazy, but the latter is far from it.

Who needs to wait for the approaching New Year for a resolution?

Resolutions in general should be made on a daily basis if not more often. To set a resolution though you really need to know what Resolve means. Resolve is a verb and a here are a few different variations of the meaning: a. to deal with successfully b. to clear up c. to find an answer d. to reach a firm decision about.

How many things in your life need you “to deal with successfully”, need to be “cleared up”, need you “to find an answer” for, or you need “to reach a firm decision about.”? My guess is it’s just as many as the rest of us. And let me further say it’s probably not lack of analyzing the situation from every single possible vantage point that is causing you not to reach your resolution.

Resolve is a verb, which requires action and many times a reaction. You must be willing to follow through with the work (four letter word!!) it takes to make a resolution, resolve an issue you are having.

That doesn’t mean you should rush to creating a list of things that need resolving. Heaven knows we have enough lists floating around; both internally and on our counters, computer desks, night stands, vehicles etc. What needs to happen next is you acknowledge you have things that need to be resolved and start working (ugh…WORK… I can’t believe I have to use that word either) on the simple things.

Resolve to be nice to a co-worker or not badger your spouse or partner even when you feel the overwhelming urge to do so. Resolve to let your hair down and enjoy yourself. Resolve to enjoy company, even if the only company you have is yourself. Resolve to travel to that country you've always dreamed of. If that seems unrealistic with the dead end job and all your bills, then resolve to work harder and find a job with more opportunities and save whenever possible, not whenever convenient. Because let’s be honest, when is it EVER convenient to save money??

I resolve to (yes this is where you get to see just how crazy I am) have one happy day a week.

I know what you’re probably thinking. Who on Earth isn’t happy at least one day a week? Well, me. I find myself unhappy almost every day despite the glorious blessings I have in my life. At 30 years old I have yet to manage to have one full day each week to just be happy. Maybe it’s a self loathing aspect or something deeper..but that’s for a later blog.

I resolve to have just one day where I don't give a ____ (insert your favorite naughty word here) about all the worries I usually let drown me on a daily basis. I want to fully enjoy my children 100 percent for one day a week. Don't get me wrong I enjoy my children daily but I want to enjoy them without pretense, without having a conversation with them that ultimately leads me to listening to them speak but not enjoying our conversation because my mind has taken me back down the worry wart lane of bills and other everyday concerns. The exact same goes with my husband.

One day a week I want to be happy, truly joyous. 52 days out of 365 days a year I want to live being happy. Enjoying my life for what it is and not what I want it to be or wish it could be. It may not sound like a lot to you but to me it sounds like paradise. It’s my first resolution, on a journey that I believe will be filled with countless more.

A good friend of mine told me she wants to be inspired daily. I agree with her. What inspires me is often something random and I drift off into my own head and begin to write, internally. Those internal writing sessions are sometime the best writing I ever do. I am not going to let those writing sessions get away from me. From now on when I have the opportunity I will write those down I will, and when I don’t have the opportunity I will make time for it.

I don’t know how much time I have left here and neither do you. (Unless you have a secret that I don't know about???) Either way, we are limited to our time here and with the ones we love, and the ones we don’t love so much. But we are the only ones that limit ourselves from being happy, achieving goals and reaching a resolution.

I resolved today start my own resolution, to write my first blog, to be inspired and let myself inspire others.

What is your resolution?